Thursday 16 February 2012

Gossip is never as good as it sounds!!!

Well, had a lovely dinner out with friends (see post below). As it turns out, the female friend has her own apartment so I guess she is separated???? But still has those little outline pics of each family member on her SUV, still listed as married and to her "husband" on Facebook AND still wearing her wedding rings..... hmmm, our male friend should be approaching this cautiously however, he is already gaga, silly boy!!! Well, she is definitely flirting and giving signals she is interested in dating so we shall see how this plays out!

Things have been moving along with me :) My progress is below:

CD
Date
Lining
Estrogen
Follicles
CD3
Feb-12
5.1
96
R - Too small (1.8X1.6X1.0 cyst)
L - Too small (2.3X2.0X1.8 cyst)
CD6
Feb-15
7.5
1542
R - 1.1, .9 (no cyst found)
L - 1.1, .8 (cyst shrunk to 1.8X1.8X1.8)


The nurse did call me yesterday to decrease my dose of Puregon to 100iu from 150iu as my Estrogen is too high. I am hoping more follicles start to grow, ideally, I would like to have 9-12 follicles retrieved.

R and I had our meeting with the counsellor today (a mandatory thing for IVF, pointless for most but I am sure some people could use it). Of course she said we communicate very effectively, lean on each other for support and also this process seems to be bringing us together.... as opposed to tearing us apart, which we already knew. R and I are a very strong and stable couple <3

Sunday 12 February 2012

Stimming and other gossip :)

Today I had my 3 day ultrasound, all looks good and I have been given the green light to start Puregon injections tonight!!! I am a little concerned though as I do have 2 cysts and am a little frightened that my cycle may be cancelled if they don't shrink. Finger's crossed :) My next ultrasound is booked for Wednesday February 15th, 2012, will update on the status of my cysts then.

My dentist appointment was pure torture.... I decided against getting my molar pulled and just had it refilled (apparently if I start pulling teeth, my jaw bone starts to disintegrate.... well, I don't want that!!!) All would have been fine with the exception of the assistant. She used some sort of tool to hold my tongue out of the way of the drill (which I totally agree with, no holes in my tongue thank you!) however, I think she was pushing a little too far, twice I think I almost swallowed my tongue.... then once the freezing wore off, I wasn't able to open my mouth very much and it hurt to move my tongue (my appointment was 2 days ago and it still hurts).

R and I are heading over to a friend's house for dinner, should be interesting.....GOSSIP ALERT!!!! A female friend of my husband's, who is married with 2 children, was very close to another male friend of ours, so close that the male friend thought they were dating (still not sure what really happened there). About 6 months later, the female friend told the male friend they are not dating (hit him pretty hard) well, as it turns out, she has gotten pretty close to another male friend of ours, lol. They will be at dinner tonight! I am curious to know why her male friends seem to think they are dating her, you would think she must be doing something that would give them that impression.... we shall see, hehe!!!

Thursday 9 February 2012

YAY!!!

Tonight I started spotting, which means I should be on track for stimming :) Also, I was able to give myself the injection without the same horrible problem as last night, lol.

Tomorrow, I have a dentist appointment which I am not looking forward to. I broke off a peice of my filling on my molar about a month ago and lately I have been having some pain. I am going to request they just pull it but I am not sure if that's possible since my wisdom tooth right beside it was not able to be pulled due to the nerves wrapped around it... so we shall see. Also, I have my acupuncture appointment tomorrow (at a new clinic) as well and decided to treat myself to a nice relaxing massage as well :)

Wednesday 8 February 2012

.....NEEDLES..... why are you sooooo unkind to me???

Yesterday, I had a small amount of anxiety when trying to give myslef the injection of Suprefact, these needles are different then the pens I am used to taking, they don't feel as smooth when being inserted and each time gets worse.

Well, today it took me over an hour!!!!! That's right, over an hour of trying to give myself an injection. For some reason my hand would stop just as it pricked me ( I have about 12 prick marks from trying). It was very frustrating..... R even called 3 times to try and help and offered to come home from work. Once I finally was able to give myself the injection, I didn't even feel it, why am I being so silly about this???? I mean, I have had sooo many blood tests and other injections without a problem, lol.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better :)

Embyologist Meeting

February 6th, 2012 - Today was the meeting to discuss the transfer. R and I left feeling confused as we expected to have a fresh transfer and today we were told we would be having a FET. I emailed my FS since I don't think I want a FET.

My doctor replied that if all goes well (low Estrogen) at time of transfer, then we could do fresh. The only reason the Embryologist mentioned a FET was because my clinic is doing a study to see if frozen provides a more successful route.

I discussed with DH and the forum I go on and decided I would still like to try a fresh and if that doesn't work, then onto frozen..... my reason is I can always do a frozen but I only have this chance for a fresh!!!

Wednesday 1 February 2012

Day of the Biopsy (ouch)

Today I had a busy day and not much sleep last night. DH and I went to Oshawa for our immediate family Christmas (better late then never, lol) and we didn't end up getting home until 5am then I was scheduled for a biopsy at 1pm so I could only get a few hours sleep. Around noon, I received a call from the FC to change to location of my appointment (from Burlington to Mississauga). So Dh and I left to head to Mississauga. It had been a while since we were at the Mississauga location and forgot how to get there. I tried to call the clinic but they turn off the phones a few hours before the clinic closes so no one answered. It turns out Iphones are quite useful in these situations (google tells all!!!). We finally arrive for my biopsy 45 mins late.... oops.

I was very nurvous going in since others had told me this is painful. Well, it took my doctor all of 5 seconds to complete and there was pinching and slight cramps. The cramps continued for the rest of the night but very sporatic..... mostly annoying then painful.

I was also given Suprefact .2ml and Provera (for 7 days) to start tonight (which I did). It had been a few months since I had given myself an injection so I was a little rusty. I went to insert the needle and only the tip went in.... I had to slowly push the rest of the needle in and finish the injection of meds.... argh.

Once I was done at the FC, I was really looking forward to taking a nap..... or even having A. cover me at work.... but no such luck. I was called in as soon as I got home (6pm) and was extremely busy until 9pm. So exhausted, I pick up dinner on the way home for me and DH. It's now almost 11:30pm and I am heading to bed.

Sunday 29 January 2012

Pre IVF Journey

Below are my records for our TTC journey upto this point:
(most recent is at the bottom)
 
May 22nd, 2011               
Today is Sunday May 22nd, 2011 and I have just been told by my fertility specialist that my blood test for pregnancy is positive! I am still in quite a bit of shock; I had been diagnosed with unexplained infertility 15 years ago, after the birth of my daughter. I thought my dream for having another baby was just a dream. When I met my husband and after we were engaged, we decided to seek additional help (in January of 2010). After cycle monitoring (a daily occurrence of blood tests and ultrasounds), I was diagnosed with PCOS and Insulin Resistance. The Fertility Specialist noted the cause of my infertility was annovulatory cycles. This means I was producing more than 20 follicles but they were not maturing and therefore I would not ovulate. I also had a large polyp which was removed in October of 2010. I was quite upset, thinking I would not be able to have children of my own since I could not produce any eggs. The doctor did not give up and assured he would do everything he could. Once we were married (January 11th, 2011), we decided to start actively TTC and the doctor put me on Provera then 100mg of Clomid and 1500mg of Metformin. The cycle showed improvement but still no follicles over 13mm. So the next cycle, my dosage of Clomid was increased to 150mg. Halfway through the cycle, it was cancelled since there were no maturing follicles and once again I was given Provera. For the next cycle, the doctor prescribed 5mg of Femara and 75iu of Gonal-F injection. On CD9, my dosage of Gonal-F injection was increased to 150iu. By CD12, I had many maturing follicles and was given the option of Aspiration (where a needle is inserted to remove some of the follicles to reduce the chance of multiples and the risk of developing OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome). I declined since I did not want to diminish my chances of fertilization. On CD15, I had 26 maturing follicles and I was given an Ovidrel (trigger) shot to induce ovulation. 2 days after the shot, I developed OHSS and was given 20mg of Prednisone. This is quite painful and very uncomfortable. It hurt to sneeze or to breathe deeply unless I was laying down. I also gained 15 pounds in just a few days and it was all in my stomach area. A few days later, my symptoms subsided and I felt great! On CD23 (7DPO), I felt twinges at night while laying in bed. I knew it was implantation. On CD26, I started to do HPT’s and they came out positive. I was in shock but also didn`t really want to believe it since there was a possibility it could still be the Ovidrel in my system. I also was thinking it could be the OHSS since my symptoms returned the same day I tested positive. I called the Fertility Specialist and they booked me for a blood test. Well, my blood test was today and it was positive..... both me and the nurse cried on the phone for a good 2 minutes (we had become quite attached during the process of TTC). Today is CD28 (12DPO) and I think I am the happiest woman that ever lived!!!

10DPO


May 29th, 2011                                                            
Well, it has been a rough week. Since I was on fertility drugs and then had to take an HCG trigger shot to induce ovulation, I developed OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome). The side effects of this for me are engorged ovaries, fluid in the abdominal cavity and lungs as well as shortness of breath. I was given Cabergoline and Prednisone and need to drink 3 litres of Gatorade a day (a tough task for me because I don't really like Gatorade). I was in so much pain from the swelling that it was hard to sleep; I was only comfortable in a reclined chair or in a hunched over position. I was also told to go to the emerg. and get an Albuim IV, which I went to get but was informed it was a human product which could leave me open to blood born pathogens so R and I decided against it. This was on May 25th, the same evening I started getting morning sickness. I was sick all night and could not keep down the pills that the doctor gave me so I went back to the doctors. They gave me Diclectin (a pill for morning sickness). For the next 2 days, things went great, I was finally getting some relief and my weight and abdominal girth (from the swelling) was finally going down and I was no longer feeling the effects of morning sickness. On the 28th of May, I went to the walk in clinic for an unrelated matter. They examined me and sent me to the Emerg. The Emerg. Dept. performed some blood tests and were concerned about my HCG count which was 491. He explained that 491 at 5 weeks pregnant was very low and there must be something wrong with the baby. He booked me in for an ultrasound for the 30th. I was devastated and cried in the parking lot of the hospital for quite some time. When I returned home, R was waiting. We discussed what the doctor had said and I went to the washroom. I then noticed that I was spotting. At this point I am convinced I am having a miscarriage. I woke up the next day at 5:00am and called the fertility clinic. I explained the situation and was told to come in to the office in about an hour for an ultrasound. Once I got there, they confirmed what happened was not a miscarriage. They explained it was probably implantation bleeding and that my HCG count was fine. I guess the numbers themselves don't mean much as long as they are doubling in 48-60 hours, which mine were. They told me not to worry, everything looks fine and to come back in 2 weeks to see the baby on ultrasound. Phew, that was a rocky week. I have decided to relax and not stress over anything for the next 2 weeks. R also doesn't want me doing any lifting or anything, he is being really good at helping me..... it's such a fragile time right now for baby, I don't want to disturb or fault the process.

June 1st, 2011
Well, things are looking up, I hope. I went in yesterday to get my beta's and they were at 916 and today they were at 1363. So they are not doubling but sooo close (Yesterday they should have been at least 982). I am going in again tomorrow and hopefully they will be higher then 1800. I did also go in for another ultrasound and there is still no clear gestational sac. I hope conception date is off and that's all. Not too much to write about, just trying to remain stress free and only thinking happy thoughts. I have been craving salad like mad and also noticing that I am putting salt on my food, something I never did before..... Nausea is kicking in more now, I find myself having to take Diclectin 2-3 times a day now. Also, cut out my morning coffees and started taking vitamins a few days ago to give our little baby all the nutrients to grow big and strong!!!           

June 2nd, 2011 
Not the best of days, my HCG came back way lower, which means I have miscarried. I guess we will have to go through this again.

June 4th, 2011
Very confused, I went to the fertility clinic to have my beta levels checked and they have gone up to 871... I am not sure what is going on and this is baffling the doctor and nurses. I have an ultrasound and more blood work scheduled for June 7th, 2011. This does give me hope..... but it might also be setting me up for another heartbreak L

June 7th, 2011  
Well, today they could not find anything (no sac or ectopic) for either the ultrasound or transvaginal. At 6 weeks, they should be able to see at least a sac.... My beta levels came back at 1863!!! To me, that's wonderful, I have hope :) I have a strong feeling that this might be vanishing twin syndrome and not an ectopic.... but only time will tell. I have to get more blood work done on June 9th and another ultrasound June 13th, I will be 7 weeks. Fingers crossed J

June 8th, 2011  
Went in to speak with my FS today to get some clarification on what is going on. He basically said I am still pregnant and it's either ectopic or it was vanishing twin. He said I am probably not as far along as we originally thought which is why they cannot "for sure" identify a gestational sac in the uterus. He also said there are "small things" in my uterus but they are too small to identify, which I feel is good news, much better to have something small and the possibility of it being a baby or babies then to not see anything at all. I have also been booked for an ultrasound tomorrow morning along with blood work.             

June 9th, 2011  
Today was not a good day. Last night I had extreme pain in my upper abdomen (I think it was from the excess fluid and blood in my abdominal cavity), it carried on to today. At my doctor’s appointment they told me my HCG levels did not go up very much and the pregnancy is not progressing very well. The risk for Ectopic was too great, they decided to give me a shot to terminate the pregnancy. My heart is broken L

June 10th, 2011
Another not so great day.... I went shopping at the mall for a few hours and go to leave. Then realize someone has stolen my Truck.... Argh. So as I wait for the Police to arrive, I start getting pains in my stomach. The minute I walked in the door at home (a few hours later), excruciating pain started. R decided we needed to go to the hospital. Once there, they performed a few tests and also an ultrasound. They found a 2cm fetus in my right fallopian tube and they needed to perform emergency surgery to remove. Thankfully the tube had not ruptured but was close as there was blood leaking out of the end of my tube. Recovery was not easy, I was swelled for about a week and had a very dark purple bruise throughout my entire abdomen, which I later found out was internal bleeding.

June 22nd, 2011               
Today I start Birth Control to regulate my cycle (only for 10 days) then on to round two!!! Fingers Crossed J

July 4th, 2011    
CD1 today, a feeling of excitement as a new round has officially begun J

July 7th, 2011    
Today (CD4) was the first ultrasound of this cycle, things are looking great, I already have 2 good sized follicles (1.2 and 1.0) however, they are in my right ovary which make me a little concerned since I am not sure my right fallopian tube is blocked from the ectopic surgery, fingers cross it is not. I started Femara today, which I will be on for 5 days and then back onto Gonal-F injections. I am getting excited once again but need to keep reminding myself not to get my hopes very high yet.            

July 14th, 2011  
Well, not much news this past week. I have been on injections for 4 days and still no change in the size of my follicles so after my dye test today revealed no blockage in my fallopian tube J the doctor increased my dose of Gonal-F to 112.5iu from 75iu. I have an ultrasound booked for July 16th!!!

July 16th, 2011  
Since there still was no change in the size of my follicles, the doctor increased my dose again to 150iu. This makes both R and I nervous since we don't want a repeat of last cycle, with the OHSS..... But I am excited at the same time because I know this dose increases the size of my follicles J

July 20th, 2011  
Today I am very excited and anxious. I ovulated on my own yesterday and I am confident that the deeds were sufficient! Now to play the waiting game for 2 weeks. I will have my finger's crossed the entire time J The doctor has also given me Progesterone supplements to decrease the chance of a miscarriage, which I start tomorrow. I felt the symptoms of OHSS yesterday but today they are almost gone so hopefully the symptoms were just that of ovulating. I am trying to keep busy so that I don't think too much about things and drive myself crazy but it's hard not to get wrapped up in it.

August 2nd, 2011            
We just got back from our family reunion. My period still did not show up and was due yesterday so I went to the fertility specialist to get a pregnancy blood test. The nurse called back a few hours later and said I have to resume taking my progesterone supplements (I had stopped taking them for the reunion because they were very messy). She said the pregnancy test was positive but wants me back on Thursday since my beta level was only 14. I am excited but at the same time not really believing. I am constantly thinking about the last cycle and at the same time, trying to convince myself this time is different. I have zero spotting, I am nauseous and hungry all of the time and visit the washroom 3-4 times per night.... this gives me hope J

15DPO


August 8th, 2011             
I am now 5 weeks pregnant, still no spotting and my beta levels are doubling.... Barely, but now doubling J My first beta level was 14 and 2 days later they were only 20.45 so I was very nervous that it was going to be another ectopic. But things are very different with this pregnancy, I have a good feeling things will be ok. The next 2 beta levels came back as just barely doubling, but that's good enough for me. I have been taking 4 folic acid pills and 2 complete vitamins as well as the progesterone and since the increase, my levels have looked good. I am still nauseous but have stopped taking the Diclectin as I am not vomiting. I am absolutely starving all time..... like literally, 30 mins after I eat, I am hungry again... I also have been getting the regular pregnancy feelings in my lower abdomen (like PMS cramps and pressure). I am hopeful and cannot wait for these next 2 weeks to go by so I can be confident that my baby is ok.

August 19th, 2011           
Today I am 6 weeks and 3 days. On August 17th, I went to the emergency department with pressure and cramping on my left side that radiated to my back and down my left leg. At midnight (3 hours after I got there), I started spotting. My urine test revealed that I had developed a UTI and was given anti-biotics. They did a beta test which was up to 1490, so it doubled :) and continued to do an ultrasound. They could not spot a fetus either inside the uterus or in my tubes so I was released and told to come back in 2 days (Aug 20th, 2011, since I was released at 8:00am the next morning) to repeat the beta and ultrasound. Since last night, the spotting has stopped and the pressure has gone. I am upset and am terrified they will find another Ectopic pregnancy.

August 21st, 2011            
I went back to the hospital at 11:00am to repeat the beta and the result was only 1549. My spotting started again just before I got to the hospital but subsided later that day. I was given the option to terminate the pregnancy in order to avoid another surgery since they are assuming it is Ectopic. I refused and am going to let nature take it's course. Today at 6:00pm I started spotting red. I am sure I am having a miscarriage. I have an appointment with the fertility clinic tomorrow morning.... originally this appointment was to be my 7 week ultrasound... I am just having a hard time getting past 7 weeks L

August 22nd, 2011          
My appointment with my FS was today. They think it is Ectopic as well, but this time in my left tube. They did blood work and will call me tomorrow with the results. The census is that if my levels are dropping, then we will naturally let it take it's course. If the levels are still rising, this means that my body is unaware that it is Ectopic and the fetus will continue to grow in my tubes making it dangerous for me and surgery will be necessary. I think what will happen is we will try one more cycle (if I don't have surgery) naturally then on to IVF. If I do have to have surgery, then we move directly onto IVF. Awe, very sad today L

August 24th, 2011           
My FS called yesterday and advised me to go to the hospital for surgery since my levels increased to 2000. So I went to the hospital this afternoon. They had to do another ultrasound since they still were not sure where the baby was. The ultrasound did not give any insight so they decided to do exploratory Laparoscopy and possibly remove the baby if it was in my left tube, remove the baby and my tube if it was in my right tube or remove my right tube and ovary if the baby was attached to my ovary. After surgery, I was informed that the Ectopic was in my left tube so the baby was removed and my left tube remained intact. I see the doctor again in 1 week to discuss my options and to do another beta.

August 31st, 2011            
My beta levels came back at 27, so that’s good. We discussed the pro's and con's of our options with the doctor and decided we would try, at most, 2 more times before moving onto IVF. Reason for this is my chances of having another Ectopic are greater than 75% currently. My doctor will only allow for 2 Ectopics in each tube before they are removed. We would rather try naturally until that is no longer an option. I start birth control for 1 month on September 4th, 2011. My fingers are crossed but at the same time, preparing myself for another Ectopic. This is quite a long journey with a very exhausting and emotional roller coaster ride. One day I know it will happen for us <3

September 21st, 2011   
Due to R and my schedule, I stop taking the birth control after 10 days so that we could try again this cycle. On Sept 17th (4 days later) my period came and a new cycle started. Yesterday I started 2.5mg of Femera and in about a week I should start taking the Gonal-F injections again.

October 2nd, 2011          
This cycle, I have not been so wrapped up in the fertility treatment, I have not been on the fertility forum that I normally am on each day. I have not been writing in my pregnancy journal. I think this is due to having two Ectopics in a row, which is virtually unheard of so I really don't have much hope for this cycle.... also considering I only have one maturing follicle instead of at least 5 like I usually do so the chances of me getting pregnant are pretty slim, I believe only 20% like other women. I guess, I am kind of thinking if I do get pregnant, it will be another Ectopic which makes me sad so I really don't want to think about it. My friend gave birth to a baby girl a few days ago. I am happy for them but at the same time disappointed in myself. I am pretty sure I ovulated last night, I had some pretty bad cramps that lasted about an hour with quite a bit of pressure. Best case scenario, my little eggy pushed it's way through my tube and is now in my Uterus..... I am hoping this is the case since I have never had cramps at ovulation before. We shall see. I am going on a cruise and R is going on a hunting trip for a week and my period will be due the day after I come back. This will take my mind off constant wondering and test taking, lol. UPDATE: This cycle, Oct 18th, Nov 19th and Dec 17th cycle's not pregnant L

January 23rd, 2012          
Not much has changed these last few months, new cycles and no positive pregnancy tests :( R and I are anxious to start our family and I have lost most hope so we have decided to move onto Invitro-Fertilization. R and I have met with the nurse and spoke about the medication and procedure. My first appointment will be on Wednesday February 1st, 2012 for a biopsy. I also start Acupuncture on Friday January 27th, 2012 (a little nervous about since I have never done acupuncture before) I am very excited and have new hope J

January 27th, 2012
Today I had acupuncture to increase the blood flow to my uterus. In most instances, it was quite relaxing with a feeling of warmth and fullness around the needles. The exception was the needles at the side of my hands, they hurt L but I will do whatever it takes to increase the chances of a successful IVF.